Some are smarter than others
Estimates vary of course. But when the Marcoses, their close relatives, associates, and assistants left Malacañang in 1986, the amount that they reportedly stole was estimated at $10 billion.
Based on informal calculations I made using wolframalpha.com — no fancy formulas involved, just a logical way of formulating a text-based question (not exactly rocket science) — $10 billion then is worth $19.7 billion now.
Multiply that by the current peso-dollar exchange rate — P46 to a greenback — and you get an estimated P906.2 billion.
How much is P906.2 billion?
More than half of the Philippine national budget of 2010.
Okay, let’s exaggerate a bit. It’s still more than half of the Aquino administration’s proposed budget for 2011, which is P1.7 trillion.
Let’s not even count cash they stole that remains unreported.
And let’s not even think about the “opportunity costs” lost — say, the economic multiplier effect had X amount of money been allotted to land reform — because the government failed to recover the wealth immediately.
In short, if the government isn’t going to do anything about it, or if they do so haphazardly, what Imelda Marcos once said when asked about ger family’s stupendous wealth might be proven true: that some are smarter than others.
I was once more reminded of the enormity — which has two meanings, both appropriate, look them up — of the Marcos’ ill-gotten wealth after I read the first chapter of Imelda and the Clans: A Story of the Philippines.
The 600-plus page book was written by Beatriz Romualdez Francia, who, among others, describes herself as Imelda’s “dissident niece.”
Here are some numbers I derived after reading the first chapter.
Number of the Marcos entourage members — including “hairdressers, gardeners, closest henchmen” — that left Malacañang in February 1986: 89
Height, in feet, of a Malacañang closet that stored Imelda’s nightgowns: 10
Number of gowns stored in said closet: 1,200
Number of shelves that contained unused Gucci handbags: 5
Total number of Gucci handbags stored in said shelves: 1,500
Number of black brassieres stored in the same closet: 500
Number of clothes racks that were empty: 67
Number of mink coats: 15
Number of silver fox stoles: 6
Number of parasols: 65
Number of scarves: 464
Number of handkerchiefs: 664
Number of sunglasses found stuffed in a chest: 71
Number of teddy bears with “loving words from George [presumably Hamilton]: 1
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Thanks to Michael Francis McCarthy for the photo of the book.
Guy walks into a bar
Thanks, Fotosearch
Guy walks into a bar, inspects whatever passes for the decor, and asks how much for a beer?
The waiter, all-too-accommodating, proceeds to give a number, which appears reasonable, so the guy — who is accompanied by an acquaintance — sits down.
Guy orders one round for both.
Suddenly, the speakers go full blast.
Guy is irritated because he may be unable to hear the story of his new-found acquaintance.
Fortunately, management has immediately deemed it fit to turn the volume down to a more tolerable level. After all, waiters are trying to listen into the exchange taking place at the other table.
Some white-haired, middle-aged geezer wearing a loose T-shirt, a pair of shorts and slippers appeared to have arrived late for his date, a young, female hottie with upper body advantages. As the middle-aged guy slips into a seat in front of her, they both smile and laugh.
Guy who just walked into the bar and asked for the price of a beer is not amused.
How come, he asks himself, he’s stuck with male acquaintances on a Saturday night while old geezers like this one — swift dagger look to his left — bags the babes?
He is mystified.
The mix of contempt and regret quickly evaporates as the ice-cold beer arrives.
Both guys proceed to exchange life stories.
First guy is drinking just a few hours of the night away until he gets lubricated enough to write something, he says, without mentioning that he maintains a website.
It’s far too complicated, he says to himself, thinking of some people whom he occasionally meets, asking him: “Website, what’s that?”
Meanwhile, during his turn to talk, his acquaintance tells him that he once drove a BMW out of a twenty-foot metal container.
He says he was assisted only by his wits and two thin planks of wood.
Two planks of wood, he repeats. Two planks of wood.
It happened twice, he says, forgetting the name of the other sportscar.
Guy nods.
Interesting life you’ve led, he says, as he catches old geezer and the girl get into a cab.
He takes another pull at his bottle of beer.
It’s cold and crisp, just about every bottle of beer he’s had since he started drinking regularly at the age of 20.
“At least you were good enough to bring the car out safely,” guy says to his companion.
“You don’t know half of it,” the other guy replies. “Two planks of wood. They were thin — like plywood.”
He nods. The other guy nods. They drink.
In a fit of inspiration, guy says to himself, “Hey, why don’t I write about this cool restaurant?”
———————
This piece of “fast fiction” — for the lack of a better definition — is an unpaid piece for Chickenalicious Restaurant, a newly-opened bar at 22 A Matapang corner Malakas Streets in Barangay Pinyahan in Quezon City. Forgot the price of the beer but you can call them up to ask 227 4323. It’s open Monday to Saturday from 10:00 AM to 9:00 PM. House specialties (which is served with rice) include Chicken Inasal (P83), Liempo Inasal (P70), Pork Inasal (five pieces P100), Grilled Boneless Bangus (P105), Pinaputok na Pla-Pla (P110), Sirloin Oversized Steak (P120), Pansit Canton/Bihon (P75). Chickenalicious Restaurant also takes bulk orders, its says in its flyer.
Just to make it clear: No consideration, financial or otherwise, has been made between the owner of this website and any employee, relative, owner, or stakeholder of Chickenalicious Restaurant.
